I am crashing on my friend Sombra's floor for a month
Living at Sombra's aprtment complex is like living in a dorm only with street punks
Two of the most prominent punks are Matt and "Street Punk" Ryan
Street Punk has a second nickname and that is "Sid"
No, he doesn't look anything like Sid Vicious
We call him Sid because we call his girlfriend Nancy
She is constantly doing things like leaving her drink un-attended and then getting dosed with GHB (this happened this weekend) forgetting where she parked her car and forgetting that her friend held onto her keys
She calls up Sombra in a panic saying "My car's been stolen!' when she is one block over from it in Deep Ellum
Anyways
Street Punk was coming home from tour on Tuesday so we decided to give him a welcome home surprise
I have quite a large stack of "Voluptuous" magazines
These have one or two decent looking big boobie chicks and a lot of really disgusting ones
We cut out the pictures of the ugliest, fattest, hairiest chicks (pregnant ones too)
and taped them all over his front door
We then wrote capttions all over them with things like "insert Street Punk here"
and "this chick knows what the back of Street Punk's van looks like"
This was a bonding process for me and Nancy (who came up with the initial idea)
I have decided that, even though she is a fuck up, she has good intentions
We are now good friends
No one is safe from the Porn Terrorists- Nancy, Sombra and Rockula
There is a guy in the building who had a horrible car accident that put him in a coma
We have told him that he has a surprise when he gets home
He has a vague idea that we're about to "give him the business" but the rest of the house is sworn to secrecy
Sombra and Nancy have visited him every day and are convinced that the upcoming burn is one of the things that makes him wanna get better
He is looking very much forward to this
Unfortunately for him, they have a key to his apartment and we are not concentrating on the front door this time
Since posting this story on my MySpace blog, I have had a couple of people ask to use this idea for themselves
I say that once you come up with an idea this good, it belongs to the people
In fact, I'm thinking about starting a MySpace profile or group where people share their porn terrorist exploits
Here are the rules we have devised so far but we cannot claim responsibility for those who decide to ignore said rules
1- No married people(unless the wife consents or is in on it) ESPECIALLY NONE WITH CHILDREN!!
2- Make sure the boyfriend/girlfriend is OK with it
3- Try not to violate people's trust by breaking in their homes without their permission
Basically, keep it harmless
Pranks can be fun but not when it hurts someone's life
So, if you come home one day and find a copy of "Lactating Mamas" or an entire kitchen cupboard covered in Gay Hairy Bear gangbangs, know that you have been hit by THE PORN TERRORISTS!!!!!!!!
And take it like a man for chrissakes
We spent a lot of time burning you
It's out of love
Really
p.s. there are picture and I will try to post them when I get them
_________________
You say irritant, I say catalyst
